


I xxxx you

by RedRoseCarnage



Series: Suehiro's life [3]
Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Childhood Memories, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Dependence - Freeform, Flashbacks, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, POV Alternating, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 09:37:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16762579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedRoseCarnage/pseuds/RedRoseCarnage
Summary: Now that Suehiro was older,things had changed,he had changed.Being open about his feelings wasn't as easy as before,especially when memories of his past lover came back to haunt him.





	I xxxx you

'I love you...'

A phrase that seemed impossible for Suehiro to say,now that he was older and anxious.  
Too many things would go through his head-when is the right time to say it?,should I tell it to  
Kouta,or is it too early?,what if I make a fool of myself?,will I sound too sentimental?. Saying  
it was like a commitment,it had a meaning,a subtle deeper one and Suehiro knew it and that's what  
scared him.  
He recalled a time when things were easier,when saying 'I love you' was  
easier,a time when Hideaki was still there,holding his round face with his warm hands,kissing him  
passionately,exploring every part of his tiny body gently,his own muffled moans telling Hideaki  
too much,too easy to say 'I love you's.Back then,he made it all seem so easy. Hideaki made it so  
easy to befriend him,to need him,hell,to even love him. 

Suehiro remembered going to his house,always in the evening,and only coming back home at noon.  
He'd spend hours there,pleasing Hideaki. He'd jump on his lap and they'd talk for hours,before  
getting interrupted by the adult's hand slowly caressing his naked thighs,him only wearing green  
shorts,a white shirt and knee-high white socks,already feeling aroused,not wanting him to stop.  
Hideaki would then give him the sweetest of the kisses,his tongue pulling Suehiro closer and   
closer,as if it were twisting around the child and not around his tongue. Clothes were removed  
quickly,as if they were never meant to be put on;at least on that house they'd always be   
scattered around. As he laid Suehiro on the bed,he'd make sure to look at him,at his cute and   
aroused 12 year-old face,so young yet so sexually appealing;a mix between innocence and depravity  
that was,perhaps,what aroused Hideaki the most. It was almost as if it suited Suehiro,that whole  
atmosphere.   
Hideaki then pulled Suehiro closer to him,turning frontwards so they could see each   
other;he did that to calm the child down but he also liked seeing Suehiro's crying face when he'd  
put it in too fast or too deep,when he wouldn't be gentle enough,when he'd just be rough.  
And that was one of those days he'd be rough. As Hideaki started to get faster,tears were already  
building up on Suehiro's face;even so,he didn't whimper because he knew that would prevent his  
lover from finishing. 'Suehiro,are you okay? You're almost crying,is it too painful? Do you want  
me to stop?',the man asked,worried about the child's well being. He shook his head,telling him  
to keep going,he was strong enough,he could take this. Hideaki,after seeing him that way,told  
him what he had always wanted to listen from that man: I love you. 'I love you,Suehiro.'  
That simple phrase made him so happy he could even forget about the pain. After they were done   
and lay together in bed,as Hideaki was getting out to smoke,Suehiro,with a tired expression and a  
smile on his face,hugged him and said: 'I love you too.'

He felt stuck. As if he couldn't ever leave him. He's dead.  
There's no point in doing this,then why? Because I still love him...


End file.
